You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
