how can u be prego again
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it hurts more in the daytime
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize