as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
