Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
