Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
