This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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