yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I party with great urgency now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
