No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
time to smoke my breakfast
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
