her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
