Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
