i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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