Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
