I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
