No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
