Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
