found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
