so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Congratulations! We have a period
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