the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize