Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
