Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
