im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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