the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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