bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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