It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
