Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he shaved USA in his pubs
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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