Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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