thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
