she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
