shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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