Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We are two peas in an std pod
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
