My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
