I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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