I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
