No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
