When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When are your genitals available?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
