I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think your dad took our porno
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
