4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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