You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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