I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
