is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
