The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
