Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
