I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
