They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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