idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just gargled with NyQuil
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
