i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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