hotel room ftw
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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