meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
