Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
