i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
