But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
