just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
