I think scott just propositioned me for sex
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
