ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
