whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
