bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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