Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
