i may or may not be watching the land before time
My pussy is not your playground.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You are the jesus of drinking
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
