Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize