I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize