WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
