"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
