Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
