And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
