Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Randomize
