The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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